During a group date with my two wife friends (together with our husbands with a conversation of their own), one of our topics has drifted to our sex lives. Let’s call my friends Abby and Liz, not their real names, but close to it I guess. I found out that Abby and I prefer a scheduled love making while Liz prefers it spontaneous.
I wasn’t surprised with Liz, knowing her personality. But I just got amused, that Liz’s husband, who is also a friend of ours preferred something scheduled. Most people have misconceptions that when it comes to sex, men are ever ready to plunge into it.
Abby shared that she prefers scheduled so she can prepare herself not only physically but also mentally. She just can’t shift her mind from mothering and house chores to love making in an instant. Well actually, we share the same point here.
It’s not because Abby, I and Liz’s husband are not attracted to our spouses or that we love them less. That’s far from the truth. I assume that it has something to do with our personalities. And yeah, coincidence or not, the three of us are somehow similar in temperaments.
Lucky are those spouses who both preferred spontaneous, they can make love any day or any time they want, regardless if the other one is tired or not. And for those who preferred scheduled, I think it’s kinda boring, but who knows, maybe it works. But what about the three of us? Our husbands preferred the opposite.
I know I can’t be stiff with my preference. I can allow some people to do my motherly and home making duties whenever I’m tired or have something to do.I can ask somebody to baby sit my daughter while I’m not around. I can hire a helper to tend my home when I have lots to do. But I can never have anyone to make love with my hubby when I’m tired or when I don’t feel like to.
I realized that love making, is just like any other part of a relationship. It requires a constant giving and taking and compromising. Hubby and I both compromise, something that is not always easy to do. He wants spontaneous, I want scheduled. At first we’re both struggling. But when I shared to him about what me and my girl friends talked about, he began to be at ease. He started to understand that I’m normal. Thank God. I’m normal.
With an understanding of myself, I also began to be spontaneous from time to time. Hubby’s not that disappointed anymore. We’ve started to meet in the middle, which is what married life is all about. It’s not always easy and smooth, but with communication and understanding of our differences, it will be worked out.
So what about you?
Spontaneous or Scheduled?
If you’re uncomftable to answer, just share your thoughts =)