Just this past Thursday, I lashed out at hubby because of some project with our organization that he hasn’t settled yet. I have been reminding him for the past months to finish it, but nothing’s progressing since the last time he attended to it. And since I’m the wife, it’s me whom the leaders keep on texting. Honestly, I really don’t want to be involved with it that’s why I always tell him to settle the project because it’s stressing me already. But then he said nothing.
So late afternoon time, he was sulky. Thursday night is our couples caring group night and we were assigned to be the worship and sharing leaders. Then from out of the blue he told me, “I’ll just drop you off at the building.” Then I said, “What? Aren’t you going to attend our CG?” “No, I’ll just go to the gym tonight.” I imploringly said, “But we’re the leaders tonight.” He protested, “I don’t want to be the worship leader, I’m not in the mood.” So I resolved it by saying, “Ok, I’ll take in charge during worship, you lead the sharing.”
As he went downstairs, I didn’t like the way he looked, it was clear that he lost his mood because of what I did earlier. I was ready to confront him and tell him, “Can you blame me for bursting out on you? I’m already stressed. I did not lack in reminding you.” And when I started following him, I instantly remember what sis Roxi shared during our mommy-wifey caring group. Her husband told him, “If I am upset, let me be upset.” And so I halted and told myself, “OK!”
I let him be upset and did not bother him. I waited till his mood lighten up. And when he started smiling at our baby, I approached him immediately and make lambing. I really don’t want to be the worship leader so I told him, “You’re good and spontaneous at leading our worship, you should lead it not me.” After I did a little more coaxing, he finally obliged. And we’re friends again =)
This experience made me realized that it’s not only women who have the right to be upset about both rational and irrational things. Men have the right too. So yeah, if they are upset, instead of correcting their behavior, let’s allow them to be upset. After all it will not take long that they’ll feel ok soon. And this is one of the instances where relationship is more important than the feeling of being right and reasonable.
And about the project, seems like I really have to involve myself with it. Argh!
So what about you?
Have you found yourself in this situation with anybody? What did you do?