Are you in need of Marriage Counseling?
Maybe you’re so confused and lost right now. You don’t understand the way your spouse is treating you and the way they are behaving in your relationship. Maybe you’re emotionally drained, tired, and troubled, but you have difficulty sharing your struggles with your loved ones and trusted friends due to fear of judgment. Or maybe you feel hurt and shattered because your spouse cheated on you and you don’t know whether to let go or move on.
Sometimes we come to a point in our married life when we feel like we’re at the end of our rope — we feel weak, and have lost our hope. And then we begin to look for someone to understand us and enlighten us about our own situation, someone who will illuminate our path on this long and dark tunnel we are treading.
This is where marriage counseling can help. A marriage counselor who cares will journey with you as he/she helps you understand yourself and your marriage. It is during a confusing time when having someone non-judgmental accepts you in your state of anger, agony, and despair will be really helpful. A marriage counselor will compassionately listen to you and understand what you’re going through. He/she will be a great source of assistance, support, and encouragement to married individuals and couples who are facing a trying time in their married life.
If you’re looking for a marriage counselor, here is a list of counseling providers in no particular order.
READ: How to Cope with Infidelity Flashbacks
Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM)
CEFAM is an Ateneo-based foundation which seeks to empower Filipino families to become a community of love, justice and peace. With its pyscho-spiritual approach, they assist families cope with challenges posed by modern life, adjust to change brought about by the changing needs of a family, and deal with crises arousing from challenging situations. CEFAM also offers marriage and parenting seminars aside from providing counseling.
Website: http://www.cefam.ph
Fee: Donation basis (with at least 500php recommended donation)
Address: Ateneo de Manila University Campus, Loyola Heights, Quezon City
Fax : (632) 426-4285
Telephone numbers : (632) 426-4289 to 92
Satellite Counseling Site
(In cooperation with Don Bosco Parish)
Don Bosco Parish
Arnaiz Avenue corner Amorsolo Street, Makati City
(632) 894-5932 or 34
READ: Infidelity: To Forgive and Forget is a Harmful Advice
Reintegration for Care and Wholeness Foundation Inc (RCWFI)
RCWFI is a proponent of the healing, integrating, and transforming psycho-spiritual approach to counseling, life coaching, training, education, support systems and family care. The team uses the RCW Growth Model – a holistically humane methodology inspiring personal inner work and the enhancement of authentic life power.
Formed by a group of highly committed and caring individuals, the RCWFI teammates have continuously earned for themselves a long list of commendable credentials both in the professional and personal fields. Founded on their solid educational training and experiential backgrounds, the RCWFI team is dedicated to spread its mission and expertise as…
* Family and Marriage Counselors
* Psycho-spiritual Consultants
* Life Design Coaches
READ: Emotionally Distant Husband
Website: http://rcwcares.org/
Fee: Professional Fee
Address: Partnership Center, 59 C. Salvador Street, Varsity Hills Subdivision Loyola Heights, Q.C.
Tel no. (632) 436-0710 or 426-6832
Fax no. (632) 436-0710
Mobile no.: c/o Mae Sotacio – 0921-6332587
UGAT Foundation
UGAT Foundation is a non-profit organization based in Ateneo de Manila University. It is a Jesuit apostolate for OFW families and grassroot families
Website: www.ugatfoundation.org
Fee: Donation basis
Address: 2/F ISO Annex, Social Development Complex, Ateneo de Manila Unviersity, Katipunan, Quezon City.
READ: Common experiences of emotionally abused Filipina Wives
PsychConsult Inc.
PsychConsult is the pioneering psychological firm in the Philippines. They are a group of Filipino Psychologists focused on promoting their clients’ psychological health and well-being. They work with individuals, groups, and families to be empowered and attain better emotional wellbeing.
Website: www.psychconsult.com.ph
Fee: Professional Fee (at least 1000PhP)
Telefax number: +632-4212469
Telephone: +632-3576427
Clinic mobile: +63917-8080193
Email address: psychconsult@gmail.com
Address:
Unit 227 Regalia Park Towers, 150 P. Tuazon Blvd., Cubao, Quezon City, Philippine
READ: Emotionally dependent: Do you love your husband more than yourself?
Better Steps Psychology
Website: www.bettersteps.org
Fee: Professional Fee (at least 1000PhP)
Mobile: (+63)917 894 3988
Email: wellness@BetterSteps.org
Facebook: www.facebook.com/BetterStepsPsychology
Twitter: @BetterSteps
Office Address: Unit 305 Fortune Building, 144 Pasig Blvd, Pasig City, Metro Manila 1604
Whatever reasons that you may have in seeking marriage counseling, I hope that with the aide of counseling, you would be enlightened and your relationship would be restored.
Voice in the Storm Counseling Advocacy
A Voice in the storm is a counseling center and an advocacy founded by Ms. Gilda Fortunata last 2008.
Ms. Gilda was awarded as the 2012 Happiest Pinoy for her advocacy in helping to restore problematic marriages.
FB page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Voice-In-the-Storm-Counseling-Advocacy/
Fee: Lay/Pastoral Counseling Fee (500PhP)
Mobile No: 0928-967-5877
Email Ad: gildaaltez@yahoo.com
READ: Silent Treatment in Marriage
Light of Jesus Pastoral Care Ministry
The Light of Jesus Pastoral Care Center is one of the ministries founded by Bo Sanchez. The center has been serving individuals, couples, and families for more than 25 years now. Majority of the problems that they encounter is on marital conflicts.
Today, LOJ-PCC continues ro minister to spiritually and emotionally wounded by offering free counselling service via phone, face-to-face, chat, and email.
Website: http://bosanchezministries.com/
Fee: Donation basis
Phone No: 725-9999
Email Ad: support@kerygmafamily.com
Maximizing Marriage
Maximizing Marriage is a counselling ministry founded by the Eusebio and Gracier Yu. Aside from giving counseling service, they also offer marriage seminars to churches, communities, and other organizations.
Facebook site: https://m.facebook.com/MaximizingMarriages/
Email Ad: sebs@maximizingmarriage.com; grace@maximizingmarriage.com
Mobile No: 0923-504-2357
Keywords: marriage counseling quezon city, marriage counseling makati, marriage counseling pasig
I’m seeking marriage counselor that can help my marital problem for 17 years.
My son and his wife’s marriage is on the rocks. They have 3 children ages 6, 4 and 3. They are still living together and every time they have a fight I’m always there to fix it. I know that through marriage counselling there’s a big chance that their marriage will be restored. They live in Clark , Pampanga. I hope you will be able to help. Thank you and Happy Resurrection Day !
hi! 🙂 is there an article about remarriage and blended family? thankyou! 🙂
Hi camille,
I’m sorry I haven’t done any article on remarriage or blended family… but I’m sure the internet has myriad of it.
Hi im oliver i need help to fix my marriage.we been 15yrs now as a married couple.i have done a lot of bad things to my wife such as ive cheated on her couple of times before and not being untruthful to her.but as ive realize those mistake i made.im trying to my best to make up to it.but den again my wife ask me to tell her the truth about those mistake ive made.so i did tell everything ive cheated on her and other stuff.for awhile i thought telling d truth would make her ease,im wrong it made her more un ease to me.i really want to save our relationship .question is how.do u think ive done d right thing telling her my pass mistake?do u think she would go with me if i ask her to go counseling… hope u could find time to help me in anyway…
Hi Oliver,
Sorry for the late reply. What you did of telling all the truth is right, your grieving wife needs total and constant transparency/honesty from you, and if that’s what she was demanding from you, then she needed that for her eventual recovery. Her reactions are normal, it will take her time to process everything that you said. It’s too painful for her right now, so bear with her and be with her through this storm, as there will be a lot of emotional upheavals.
There’s no harm in trying to invite her in marriage counseling. 🙂
I’m married for 15years and seems the problem doesn’t solve until now. For 15 years, there’s’ ups and downs in our relation ship but we keep in ourselves and we did not talked about it just go with the wind and just pass. I’m trying to be a best wife and mother to our 3kids, by the way I lost one last 2009. I told my husband to seek counselor to help our relationship but he didn’t agree with it. I don’t know what’s in his heart and mind that I cannot see and feel. I want to save my family coz I’m afraid to have a broken family. Please help me.
Hi. Im Gie. Wife for 15 and going to be 16 years this Dec. I am in the state of “confusion” right now. I lost my feelings for my husband since last year. Im assessing myself for almost a year but i cant make it come back. Im vocal to him and he knows how i feel but he doesnt want me to let go. I dont want to be selfish since i want him to be happy. What should i do? Do you think i need a counseling?..thank you.
Hi Gie,
The way I see it, is that in your mind you want your husband happy and you want this marriage to work; but in your heart, you don’t have enough feelings and motivations to do what your mind is telling you. You’ve been married for quite a long time, and it’s not surprising for some marriages to go stagnant and dull. But what you’re feeling is normal, and it’s good that you have the awareness and the will to improve your situation. Yes, you can opt for marriage counseling, so you and your husband can work together. You can also do individual counseling if you think your problem is stemming from personal issues, that way you could understand yourself better. You may want to check out the different counseling providers I have on my list. Some offer free counseling like LOJ Counseling, some do not and others are just donation. Hope it helps.
Hi,im jema. Been married for 13 yrs. My problem is everytime me and hunband had a fight his anger will turn to destroying things whatever is in his hands or sometimes before that he burned all our religious images at the altar and recently he burned all our bible. I’ve praying for him to go back to Him and ask forgiveness for he has done and i was thankful because he turn himself to God again. But lately i don’t what came to his mind after we had a little fight he easily angry and mad and he throw my younger’s daughter tablet to the roof and got smashed. I was so disappointed in him because he really can’t handle problems. In marriage we cannot avoid misunderstanding and i know its normal to married couple. How long do i suffer in this kind of married. Hope you can give me you best advise.
Hi Jema,
I replied to your email.
Hi am johanne do you recommend any counselors I could talk to? Am going thru a rough times of my marriage. My husband cheated on me and he’s in overseas and am here. Am so confused and messed up on what shall I do. To make matters worst his mistress is contacting me and my mu husband refuses to answer all my calls and texts. Am deeply hurt and all over I don’t know what to do with my life. Please help me. Thank u
Hello, I’m Alex, I would like to ask an advice on how to deal with my wife’s problem or habit…She is an over-spender and shopaholic. I’m already going abroad for 6 years but nothing has change in our life because of her habit. I tried to confront her many times, to think of the future and our children’s education. She just say OK, but then again and again she can’t make proper budgeting.It seems she doesn’t care, although she took care of the kids. And before the end of the month, she always ask me that there is no more budget. And another thing, she is always borrow money from friends even with interest which in due time she can’t pay anymore. So in order to save face, I talk to the person she has debt that I shall pay them. I am so frustrated, and I thinking of leaving her, but again I think of my children because I don’t want them have a broken family. Please give me your best advise regarding my problem.
Hello… Happy New Year !
Just want to seek advise for my 15 years old nephew. He stole some money when he was 9 but it was stopped until yesterday. Today morning, my sister told that he saw my nephew near her bag but didn’t make any suspicions. After sometime she checked her bag and notice her money we’re not in tacked. She counted it and she learned it lack Ps.2,500. My nephew went to the mall and not back yet.
We do not know now how we will approached in this kind of situations anymore. We do not understand why he needs to do this. We give him everything in terms of love, attention and material things. He doesn’t have any paternal image to look up to.
Does he have any ODD ?
Appreciate your help and response soonest.
God Bless.
Joyce
My husband left us (me, daughter 3yo and 6mos old baby boy) he said he is no longer happy and doesnt love me anymore. He has lots of unaddressed issues and unresolved problems. He already talked with some of her trusted friends and also great leaders from our church but it didnt change anything. I told him to seek a marriage counseling with me but he refused. He said that it wont help him (nakausap ko na nga mataas sa simbahan pero wala pa din nangyari, he said). Pls help me what to on what to do. I really want to save our family. Any suggestions/marriage counselors that i (or we, hoping) could seek for? Thank you
Hi! I’m jek! Recently i found out that my husband has an affair. Right now magulo isip ko. Nawala tiwala ko sa asawa ko. Hindi na ko sigurado kng ano ba talaga ko sa buhay nya. Feeling ko walang growth ang marriage namin. Nag sorry sya at nag promise na hindi na mauulit pero wala naman akong pagbabago na nakikita. May sarili syang mundo. We seldom go out together. I want to find myself. Naguguluhan ako. I don’t know where to start. Can you help me?
Hi My name is Gail. I have a live in partner for 4 years. We have 2 kids ages 3 and 2.We got separated last April of 20 13 and until now he is still asking for time and to understand him as well. Recently we have a lot of fights and arguments this past few months. He answer all my questions honestly that he don’t love me anymore and he don’t want to live with the person whom he doesn’t love but he don’t want to lose his kids as well. I don’t have family to rely on. I’m living alone and I’m working as a call center agent. I am very much worried to give trauma to my kids again and I still love him. its so hard for me to moved on. I want to leave him but I don’t have someone to look after for my kids while I’m away to work. I know how they love their dad so much. what would be the best thing to do?
Hi! my husband and I fight a lot lately. He wrongly accuses me of cheating, something that I have never even thought about. It’s so hard to argue about something that is not worth arguing for. He was always the jealous type but his jealousy became more intense lately. He calls me nasty names and it hurts me a lot. I sometimes think about whether he even thought that he was being so oppressive of me. How can I make him believe that I am really faithful to him. My husband and my kids are my life. It really hurts me everytime he accuses me of something I didn’t do. Please help. I sometimes feel hopeless.
Hi im kath 30yo.married for 3 yrs now.no child yet.i am bothered by my attitude.dko po alam kng me mali ba skn.i am a nurse but could not even assess if theres something wrong in me..prang masungit po ako lagi and worried too much.nwlan ako ng twla sa aswa ko dhil nalaman ko na hbng ngsasama about 1 yr na kami nun eh me comunication pa pla cla ng ex nya.nagsory na xa skn dat tym pero gang ngaun wla prn ako twla sa knya.kaya cguro stress dn ako at d kami mgka anak.asa ibng bansa na xa working at til now me insecurities prn ako sa knya.I have this feeling na d ako masaya.dko alam kng bakit.at prang d ako kuntento sa pagmamahal skn ng aswa ko.prng laging me kulang.pls help.
Hi Kath,
Sent an email to you…
I am a solo parent for 4 years already but this year my son is manifesting bad behavior I need someone to do the counselling
Hi, i’m Cristelle, 30 years of age, married for almost 4 years now, with one kid. I was a nurse back in Singapore but I decided to go back here in the Phils for me to take care of my son. I gave up a wonderful job because I can feel I won’t be able to return to SG leaving my son & husband and knowing That my mom is in US and my mother in law passed away already. We are now staying in my in law’s house and for almost 3 years of living here I feel stress everytime. Like maintaining the house, the way his cat food stinks all over the house(paksiw na isda) the way his urine drips on the toilet seat.. We can’t afford to rent another house because my husband also support the bills here. And thinking what will his relatives say if we leave my father in law alone, btw he’s 74 y/o. I’ve been trying to understand his ways but there comes a time I always get fed up and burst into tears..even our intimacy for each other is affected because I’m not really comfortable knowing our room is beside my in law’s room and I can even hear him cough at night. If we argue we need to whisper cause he might hear what we are arguing about. Help.. I feel i’m not happy anymore..
Hi my husband always curse me whenever we fight even in front of my parents he call me names, sometimes he hits me too for petty reasons but last night he hit me that my nose bleed, its the first time that he hit me on my face he ran got scared thinking ima call the cops, he went home and saying he wants therapy do you have any recommendation that he can go to for anger management counselling I also want as to join a counselling where there are other couples we can interact to. Thank you
I asked my husband to leave the house when I found out AGAIN that he’s been flirting and doing nasty things online with other girls. I’ve forgiven him so many times but every time I caught him, my love and respect for him diminishes. I don’t trust him no more. I said a lot of things to him that’s hurtful and told him I don’t love him anymore. We have 2kids, 6yrs and a 7month old baby. I decided to leave my career when I had a miscarriage with our first baby. And now, we’re totally dependent on him. It’s been two nights pa Lang since I asked him not to come home, however, his function as a dad is still status quo by taking our 6yr old son to summer class and sending him home. We patched things out before by talking to him, he would tell me he won’t do it again and I’ll forgive him. Do I need to initiate again for us to have a talk? Or will I have to wait for him with a thought that if he initiates it, it will be his decision to really stop what he’s doing? And, if we do come up with a talk, can I ask for a marriage counseling as a prerequisite of us to fix things. I love my kids and I don’t want them to have a broken home…but I need that respect back for me to be whole again. Please help.
Hi! I would like to know how much is the pre-marital counseling.. i believe most of the christian churches offer free counseling but there are few who would ask for a certain amount.. Can you please give me an idea how much will it cost? Please send me an email. Tnx!
Hi Crystal,
I’m sorry for the late reply. About your question, I think professional counseling is somewhere 700-1000php per session/hour.
Helpful suggestions where i can email u?i also have some sort of problems.
Hi Marie,
you can email me at thefamilywoman@gmail.com.
i want to thank you for this article. i’ve been married for 15 years to a man who does not provide financial support. we now have 4 kids ages 14, 9, 7 and 4. when i married him he was already very laid back but i was hopeful that he would be motivated to work and provide for his family. i tried almost everything like letting him follow his passion like putting up a business and letting him join in seminars. but i’ve come to the point that i now hate him for being a deadbeat all these years. i feel worthless as a wife and woman, bec i’ve been the one working to provide for our family. we are away from each other right now, he took up a job as a driver in the province, but he will only earn enough to pay his debts, i dont think he will ever live up to basic expectations in a marriage. i want out already but it’s hard because he wont let go. im skeptical if any amount counselling will help i guess if anything im willing to make an effort for our children but i really hate my husband. i would appreciate your opinion.
Hi Carol,
I replied your email.
Dear Ms Nova,
I’ve been a solo parent for nearly 2 years now. I have full custody of my 2 yr old kid. I came to understand my husband’s traits after 3 mos of being married. Three days after I found out I was pregnant, I received my first hit from him for not wanting to oblige to eat the dessert he bought for me.
He would always complain of a terrible headache. He once told me he punched a co-worker at work. Then, one of his older sisters shared that their dad manifested violent behaviors towards their mom even when she was very sick.
Sadly, the series of violent behaviors kept on for 11 mos and 23 days.
One day, after receiving not less than 7 slaps on both cheeks, pushed from bed to sofa several times, then a pail of water was thrown to me and being head-banged thrice, I’ve had it. Thankfully my CS stitch (at 23 days post operation) wasn’t infected but it eviscerated after said incident.
A week ago, my husband tried to contact me . He seemed very meek and sweet and regretted all his wrongdoings and promised not to repeat them again. He wants us to reconcile when the right time comes.I suggested we see a marriage counselor/therapist.
May I know if you handle cases similar to ours. Please let us know how/when we can get in touch with you for an appointment. I pray that my husband could improve /control his temper. And would support him as long as he doesn’t behave violently to me or our child.
Would very much appreciate hearing from you Madam. Thank you for taking time to read my post.
Aaadkda
Hi Aaadkda,
That was a horrible experience you’ve had before, when your husband hurt you physically. But fortunately, after almost two years he came back and initiated to communicate with you and wanted to reconcile with you. I know this is a chance for your family to be whole again, have you asked what made him return to you at this point in time?
It’s good that he agreed to go to a marriage counselor with you. What I can suggest is, apart from the marriage counseling, is he also see an individual therapist to address and work on his violent tendencies which was passed down to him by his father, because there was a physical abuse prior to your separation. And you were a battered wife, do you know that? I hope that incident won’t happen again to you, and I do hope that your husband will be equipped to battle with his violent tendencies.
Anyways, for your question about marriage therapist, I don’t do couple counseling/therapy yet. But you could consider the list I have in this article.
Hi. I am married for a year and a half. I have a kid from another guy before my husband became my bf. Now, whenever he is angry, he brings up all of the painful past that I have experienced from my past relationship. He calls me names and tells me that I’m a worthless mother to our daughter, that I am not hands-on with her and that I ruined his life. Afterwards he will say sorry, but it always happens again and again. This happens on Facebook since he is in another country. He also suspects me of using the money that he remits (Php10,000) to provide for my first daughter, as if it is already enough for his daughter alone (I also earn on my own as an Online Teacher that gives me around 15-18k but he still accuses me). I cannot trust him to not hurt me anymore. I believe that what he says is what he really believes about me. I cannot stand the verbal abuse. What should I do?
Hi Lauren,
I replied to your email.
Hi. I am married for 14yrs. We got 3 kids, ages 14, 8 & 4. Our problem happen recently when he get back from work abroad for almost 1 yr. I accidentally saw in his cellphone the picture of him and the girl laying in bed. I was so hurt and every time I close my eyes i saw those pictures again and again. i am devastated and terribly hurt. I told him to leave and never come back again. My parents and siblings advice me to give him another chance since he is not returning to work anymore, and I should consider my growing kids. I’m confused, what should I do?. This is the 1st time this happens to us. I though all the while we are perfect couple and what we have is a happy relationship.
I need help for my marriage. My husband is a foreigner, we’ve been together for 9 years, we have 2 kids. We stayed abroad for 6 years, and I had no problem with him. But when we came to Philippines last 2013, he got addicted into gambling, i suffered a lot, then he stopped early this year, but of course. It’s not easy for me to forget those days when I was hopeless to change him, especially now, I have a feeling, he’s starting again, most of the time, he comes home late or he don’t come home at all. I tried my best to talk to him but I think it’s not gona work, he always says, “I’m not doing anything bad, you are just being paranoid”. But I’m not stupid. I’m also suspecting him having an affair coz we very very seldom make love, his explaination is, he’ s old already (at the age of 54). He is cold to me, he don’t talk much, he don’t do things he used to do with me, like talking before sleeping, saying i love you everyday. He has changed a lot. I am at the stage of giving up but I am worried for my children. I need your response. Thank you.
Hi,
I’ve been married for 10 years and have 2 kids, but I keep on thinking about my ex-boyfriend. My husband was my first boyfriend during college until we broke up and I had another relationship with this guy called RV. (By the way, my husband and I got back together after I broke up with RV.) Anyway, RV and I were together for 2 years. I decided to break up with him because he never wanted to marry me nor wanted to talk about getting married. But when he knew that I was pregnant and was getting married, he cried and asked me about what happened between us for us to end that way. We never became friends after our relationship. He got married but now I think he is separated.
Now, every single day, I always think of RV… even if I’m doing my kid’s homework, cooking or whatever. I know that this is very unfair with my husband, but I cannot control my mind. I keep on checking his FB page (we’re not FB friends). I even think that I may still love him. 🙁
We have a common friend who are getting married on January and we are both invited. I’m not sure if I wanted to come to the wedding, because I’m not sure if I’m ready to see him again after 10 years. I’m scared of what I may feel when I see him. I’m afraid to see him with another girl. But I was also thinking that maybe that is the best time for me to finalize what I really feel about him… to face the reality.
Honestly, I’m no longer happy with my marriage and I’m just staying with my husband because of our kids.
I really need your advice.
Thanks,
MOB
Hi,
I am married for almost 2 years, but me and my wife has been together for 12 years, 6 of which we lived together, its has been my concern that she always gives me a the silent treatment every time she doesn’t get what she wants, acting like she is a spoiled child. I have been true to her a good provider and a husband. Shes not asking for expensive things, only simple things but there are times that i tend to forget, (she is not pregnant) and when i do, i get the cold shoulders, she does it everytime,,, even before we were married, i have done all the tricks ignoring, slowly talking, even asking help from her parents but she never tends to change. Im already hurting,, and i dont know what to do, i dont have any vices,,, often go out with friends,,, im your typical under the saya, coz i love her. But now im starting to hurt because of the cold shoulders,,, i know she is loyal, i trust her.. And she trust me, even if i decided to cheat (and i will not) she will know about it in a second. But i like to put an end to the silent treatment, because if i apply all the tricks strategies i have read online even on books, she just tends to explode, throwing tantrums, even walking away with my daughter and leave. I do not deserve that type of treatment, but i do get it. I need help,,,
I know most of the comments are from women, but this happens to men as well,,,
Hi Inigo,
I can see in your comment that you’re a good husband for trying to understand your wife and resorting to all solutions to tone down this specific issue. So the ‘silent treatment’ has been going on for years and it’s weighing you down and really hurting you already. When you try to apply your learning when she gives you cold shoulders, she would explode and throw tantrums. It seems like this is her way of gaining control or power if she couldn’t get what she wants. Did you already talk to her about how her behaviors hurt you?
Apart from the silent treatment, are there other things she does that hurt you? Like telling you demeaning/condescending things, would argue a lot with you (even for a period of time) about minor things, etc?
Im in desperate need for a marriage counselor. Its been one and a half year already that we have not been talking together. I need to talk to somebody to explain everything.
Hi Mr. Perfecto,
I deleted your contact details in this comment. Please refer to my list of counseling centers in this post. Or you may call the LOJ Pastoral Care Center at 725-9999, you may ask the operator to connect you to the counseling department.
hi,
is there a marriage counselling for individual or the solo marriage counselling? my husband does not seem to be ready to undergo a counselling session although i know that we really have a big problem.. i really want to save our marriage because i really do still love him..please help me….
Hi Loida,
Yes, you can have a solo marriage counselling. There are times that it’s only the wife who meets with the counselor first. You can refer to my list in this post. Or you can drop me an email if you want, but I don’t do face to face counselling yet 🙂
Hope it helps!
Hi Nova
I’m very interested to go into marriage counseling with my wife. We’ve been married 11 years 2 wonderful boys and have hit a rough patch in our marriage. I don’t know where to start with counseling and need your guidance. understand you are part of the Feast and perhaps you may have some counsellors we can speak with. I live near the Pasig Area as well. Thank you.
Willy
Hi Willy,
Yes, I’m a Feast attendee and servant as well 🙂
Yes, I could refer you to Sis Jane, she attends The Feast every Sunday afternoon, 1-3pm at Valle Verde Country Club. However, there’s no counselling room there, but you can ask her to meet somewhere. Another option would be to set an appointment with Sis Mela at the Lighthouse office in Cubao, you may email her at melarubio10@gmail.com.
Let me know what you prefer so I could look for Sis Jane’s number. Also, you may want to try to attend the Feast with your wife 🙂
Hi Nova,
First of all, I really appreciate your article and the time you put in answering inquiries.
Me and my wife will be married for 5 years this Jan 2k15. We have been together since 2008. We also have a 3 year old daughter. My main concern is she is having difficulties “doing” it with me. I have asked for her a reason and initially she mentioned that we lost our intimacy which at first didn’t understand as I’ve never felt that way so I assessed myself and did everything I could to bring it back. When I felt that it was going OK I asked her again as we are still having infrequent “sessions”. Now she mentioned about time how we are busy with our toddler. I did my best to help free up precious time and even made arrangements to keep the toddler out of the house so we could be alone. I can’t say it has improved, I am not the type to force the activity to my wife so I asked again, this time, she just said “gainto ako eh Hindi ko alam” or something synonymous to it. This problem has branched out slowly into different issues such as misunderstandings threatening to leave (both sides), lost respect to each other. When he have disagreements she always shuts down and not speak, and I am the type to want it resolved right away so it ends up in a vicious rollercoaster discussion which always ends up in a painful emotional unproductive activity. I am an analyst by profession so I probably tend to over analyze and over solve problems . I always come up with action plans which we try to follow but if it doesn’t work I don’t feel I get any help from her in resolving issues. I am always the one to say sorry for most of the fights. I say sorry even if I know I’m not at fault and not mind my ego as I value her more than myself but lately I think this is not a sustainable activity. I have this feeling which I cannot describe properly… like when-you-are-not-getting-what-you-paid-for feeling. I feel shortchanged but do not really mind it before but it is slowly taking its toll and I want that feeling out my system.
I would also like to know who/which group would you suggest to us for counselling for our situation. We are also not religious and would prefer a non religious based counselling( (no offense to religious couples po)
Thank you for reading.
Hi J,
The way I understand your post is that you feel dissatisfied with your sexual life. I see that you’ve tried everything that you can to address her concerns that impedes her from being sexually intimate with you. Yet despite your efforts of giving her what she wanted/needes, nothing is improving, and you are now starting to feel frustrated. I understand the frustration and the feeling of being shortchanged, since to a husband, one of his important needs is his sexual needs. And this is not being met in your marriage.
If you look deep inside yourself, it is probable that you would discover a tinge of resentment brought about by hurt and rejection.
As for your wife, we don’t really know what’s her reason for being not in the mood everytime you initiate. But since you’vf e mentioned marriage counseling, I think it will be a great help for both of you to understand your relationship dynamics and to improve your marriage.
Since you prefer a non-religious based counseling you may want to try randy dellosa (www.randydellosa.com). I don’t know him personally, but I heard he’s good. 🙂
thanks, Nova. I have brought up the counselling option before and she seems open to it. I am still hopeful as always that seasons change and rainy days are just passing by.
Hi Nova,
I am writing to you again. We never got the chance to do the counselling. The situation has worsened and without giving further details, I succumbed into an affair. When my wife found out, she was really devastated and wouldn’t talk to me for weeks. She has also left and brought along our daughter. To make matters worse, the girl was also married. I broke it off with her already but now, am not really sure what to do. I am sincerely trying to win back my wife but she won’t budge. I guess that’s my consequence for being a coward. I have also consulted a Pastor which gave me great tips on these kinds of situations. Right now, I just wanted to vent my frustration and sadness. I don’t see our daughter that much now and I don’t really know if we are really getting back together pa.
Can broken marriages really be healed? To me it is a 2 sided thing, both must work for it and if one is uncooperative, the other can only continue pursuing and hope for the best. I’m keeping my faith but If I follow what my mind tells me, there is really no forgiveness for me from my wife but my heart still beats for her and was only distracted.
When I had an affair, the feeling, honestly was elevated. I felt unrejected. Maybe that’s why I got into it, I was still desirable despite what i’ve felt for many years. It is wrong I know and I hate myself for being a coward and choosing the easy satisfaction over a lifetime of happiness. I should have fought more. Now i’m fighting again but I think i’m in a losing battle.
As always, thanks for listening/reading.
and btw, today was supposed to be our 6th year anniversary. Communication is indeed the key to marriage and i’ve learned that it is always harder to stay in love than falling in love. Those are two completely different things.
Hi J,
I am sorry to hear that things had worsen in your marriage, and that it`s supposed to be your sixth anniversary. I actually don`t know what to say. Both of you are in too much pain.
But now I don`t understand your wife. You were very willing to work on the marriage when you first wrote to me, yet your wife refused to meet a counselor with you. And now that you have succumbed to an affair, she was devastated and fled with your daughter. I don`t understand what it is that she wants from your marriage.
Of course broken marriages can be healed, but like what you said, it`s hard to fight for your relationship alone. She seems uncooperative even from the time when you were seeking counselling. You couldn`t reach her at the time, what more now when there is a bigger issue in your marriage.
Anyway, it is good for you that you have a pastor to talk with about your problem. At least someone is guiding you during this dark storm in your life.
Hi were married for 1yr.. Pero bakt ganun twing my kumakausap sken,. hnde q masabi sknla na masaya aq.. Although hnde naman tlga.. dq alam nahhrapan aq at dq rn tlga maintndhan sarili q.. Bsta gusto ko ng sumuko.. lagi na lang akong umiiyak at nag ccc.. Plss help naman po.. Wala tlga ako makausap. Kht frnds or famly q dq maopen sknla to..
Hi Rica, sent you an email.
hi! Nova I’m maggy..i’ve been married for 12 years…during the first years of our marriage things were all okay. We had our first born, though our finances are not stable. He doesn’t have stable job but we manage to survive or expenses. 7 years had past we had our second child,we both have jobs, our family is growing as well as the expenses, so when time comes that we are short of budget i usually lend money from my family or friends without even him knowing it. When it comes to his attention he really gets mad like hell, it even came to a point that he hit me not once but several times. Things are getting worse and repeatedly happening I even came to work with bruises. Though i am experiencing such things, I don’t have the guts to tell anyone not even to my family, don’t know if it’s out of shame, afraid of losing my family or i even think that it is my own fault. But I came to realize that it is too much! I really want to get out of the situation but I am worried about my kids. Can I get them under my custody? Also afraid of my husbands threats. Please help me…
Hi Maggy, I emailed you my reply.
Hi Nova,
I am with my current partner for 10years, we’re about to get married in less than 2months, we have a son who is 7 y/o already. Things are getting rough lately, maybe it’s because of the stress preparing the wedding which is expensed by my in-laws and as well as my family. My partner and I are having problems lately, maybe it’s his thoughts of losing his singlehood, he’s going out drinking with his officemates without letting me know or even lying to me. Not to mention, I’ve been doing everything in our relationship ever since we started. I do the finances, the chores, the decisions, name it all. He have cheated on me before, even when we had our son already but he’s changed. Still, i feel something wrong. I don’t feel being a woman at all. He’s getting all the benefit of living life, me? He’s working with a very little paying job, and I worked with a lot higher paying job than him. I understand and accept all his flaws and shortcomings, i just wanted him to be 100% truthful, loyal and honest with me, but he can’t. For me, what do i even benefit from this relationship? I’m working on it in all aspect. I am really tired and confused. I am just pushing this marriage because of my son, and not because of him anymore. We had trials, we managed to make it up because I forgive but he does not correct his actions. He’s 27, I know he’s young but not too young to be committed. He said he’s trying to fix himself, but just day after he reconciled that to me, he’s back on his track. I don’t get prioritized, that’s how it is. He’s like always craving going out with friends. For me, is this the kind of guy I wanna spend my life with? I can’t back out, I feel ashamed to his parents backing out because they insisted carrying the expenses. What shall I do? I wanna keep us, he wants to keep me but he’s not doing his responsibility.
Hi Paula,
It seems like you are in tension between two decisions. Seems to me, you are split in two selves. Your first self is tempted to drop the relationship. It wants to preserve yourself since Paula is tired of making the relationship work alone for ten years. I surmise from your post that for those years, the husband did not contribute anything for the relationship. It seems that Paula is in a relationship alone. There is a partner yes, but is mentally, emotionally, and even physically absent. Seems to me that the partner is like a ghost. Am I understanding this part of you correctly?
Now let`s move to your other self，the one who wants to push through the marriage. Her reason is that she feels indebted to her in laws. It might be that the wedding is prepared already，and it feels shameful to back down. Another reason is that，this part of you Paula, is that you want to keep the “us.” As a mother，this part wants to do it for your son. You said you`re doing this not for yourself, do you still love your partner?
Your two selves are at war. To whom will you listen? And what could be the reason that it`s only now (after 10 years), before the wedding, that you are bursting out with all your concerns and problems? Is it just the wedding jitters? Or you are in doubt whether the decision to marry，to be tied with this person forever, is the right thing to do? Should you marry this person, do not think of annullment or separation, because you already know the person you`ll marry, you know what and who you are committing the rest of your life with. We only live once.
About the in laws shouldering the wedding, if one cancels it, it`s like a bomb that will explode once. Very painful and shameful，but the pain and shame will gradually end as time passes by. If you tie yourself forever with your partner, your pain and misery will not end for the rest of your life (that is if I understand you correctly).
So whether it`s a wedding jitter or a warning coming from the depth of you, It`s only you who can answer that. I pray that you be given discernement and wisdom as you make this lifetime decision.
My niece and husband are separated:he’s having an affair and living with the woman. She needs counseling and lives in Agoo. Are you aware of any counsellors in that area?
Hi Michael,
I’m sorry I don’t know any counselor in Agoo…
I need a marriage counseling I need to keep my family and my wife, we have suffering 3rd party in the side of my wife and it difficult for me because this is not once happen its twice, first happen I will give her chance to her wrong doing but it will happen again, we talk my wife she insist her feelings that this is not wrong it feelings and she never fight or umiwas sa temptation I will explain that this is not right beacuase we have law about this do not commit adultery so it means this is no space to understand if this right.
Now we don’t know what happen to seek how to move how I can start, I/we need your counselling for my wife to see the reality and the result of a wrong feelings to other man.
hi
i’am Jacky. paano po ba malalaman pag emotional manipulated ka?
Hi po i just want to know po how much would counselling cost?.. im really troubled and i can’t focus on my everyday life with my kids. I think we needed this
Hi, counseling is on donation basis at cefam and light of jesus family. Hope this helps.
hi!.. i’m seeking for marriage counselling for 15 yrs in married.. i found out that my husband was cheating on me.. please help to save our marriage.. tnks!..
Hi Sharon,
Sorry for the late reply…
I know this is a bit urgent… but I hope you do find time to inquire on some of the centers I listed on my article.
God bless!
hi!.. i’m seeking for marriage counseling married for 15yrs… i found out that my husband was cheating on me.. so please help to save our marriage and my family.. tnks!.
My wife and I have been married for about 14 years. It was perfect for the first few years when I was doing work at home. But working at home is no longer an option, I decided to try being a call center agent to help my family’s financial needs. After 3 years as an agent, I became a supervisorand the works keeps pouring down. Needing more time to be spent inside the office and less with my family. It came to a point while having lunch with my wife, I was literally sleeping because of the work. I am doing it because the salary increase can definitely help the family and also the kids’ football games. As far as I know, because of my lack of quality time, my wife is having an affair with my son’s football coach. It’s been happening for quite a few years now. I’ve tried everything that I can think of to win her over but their communication is still there. I just want our marriage to be over. She doesnt want our boys to go to another football club because she was saying that we cannot afford to pay for both of them {we have 2 kids playing football without a fee because they said that they are good playing it). I am planning to go to other regions in the country to work so that I will not be seeing my wife but the kids are not allowing me. I love my wife, dont get me wrong, but if she decides to be with the other guy – so be it. I think I can handle rejection from her… But not from my kids. I also want to be a free man. Free to choose where I work, where I live, free to love another person without commiting sin. I want my life to be whole again. Please refresh my mind.
Hi Logan, kindly drop me a message on my FB page so we can set an online/phone counseling session. Thank you.
Hi. I’m Bea 27 years old. Currently working as a nurse here in Riyadh. Me and my boyfriend have plans of getting married next year, on my vacation leave from work. We met July 2016 and since then we’re inseraperable. But now, our relationship is on the rocks, he cannot fully accept my past, which has been the cause of our endless argument since last year. I love him very much to the point that I deactivated all my social media accounts to not have any contact with other guys I met before him. He even ask me to confess my sinful acts to my mom eventhough I know that this will definitely hurt her. Now, I learned from my boyfriend’s co-worker that he’s ashamed of me and have no plans to marrying me at all based on their convo’s last June 2017. Moreover, he installed few dating apps early this year. I feel so confused right now. I don’t know what to do.
Hi Bea, it must be emotionally heavy and painful for you to learn about your boyfriend’s conversation with your co-worker. Add to that is the fact that he installed dating apps early this year, which can make you feel betrayed.
Your boyfriend probably doesn’t feel emotionally secured upon learning of your past. And that is not uncommon. But then the things that you did, the things that he asked you to do, and the things he did — deactivating your social media accounts, confessing to your mom, installing dating apps, that convo with his co-worker (assuming it is true) — are probably too much for the purpose of assuaging his emotional insecurity.
You must not be condemned based from your past, and he must not continue doing so. Your world seems to be revolving around him, that you spend a lot of energy making your relationship work.
I do not have an advice except to take care of yourself emotionally and not make your future depend on him. I understand that he is an important part of you, so much so that what he said and did torments you. But then only time and his efforts can tell what you really mean to him and if he could make peace with your past. Between now and then, all you can do is love and accept yourself.
If he couldn’t find it in him to accept you and your past, then he is not probably the right man for you. A big part of loving is accepting.
Good day, Ms. Nova. I would like to seek marriage counseling. Is the satelite office in Don Bosco Makati still open? I see that this post was dated years ago already. We have been married for 10 years but we have intimacy issues since then that we rarely make love in a year (almost never for the last 10 years) even if we are together. I already asked him if he has another woman, but he said he doesn’t have one. I thought I am happy already with my family life since he’s a good father to our 9yo daughter, but I don’t feel his love for me anymore. Moreover, his anger management bothers me. He never hurt me and our daughter but he’s very arrogant towards others and to me. We talked about it yearly but I am really fed up since he doesn’t seem to even acknowledge that we have a problem and he thinks that since we are doing our routines at home so he feels that we’re just okay. I do not want our daughter to have a broken family but I also cannot tolerate and see myself spending my whole life like this. Hoping for some help. Thanks in advance. Have a blessed day.
Hi,
My wife of 13 years just decided that she doesn’t love me anymore and is no longer happy with the marriage. This started this
2020 when we had a long silent fight and when I tried to reconcile with her last Christmas 2020 she decided that we should separate. We have 2 kids ages 11 and 9 and I really want to save my marriage. There was no third party involved and there was problems about money as far as I know. She just lost her love and affection to me and I am hurting so much right now. Is there a chance to get your service as marriage counselor and maybe convince her to undergo counseling with me?
I’ve been married for 17 years with 2 kids. I’ve done a lot of mistakes and hurt my wife emotionally over and over again. I cheated virtually with another woman that I haven’t seen in person, I lied for so many times. I was threatened by my other woman that she will ruined my family if I leave her. That is the reason why I keep on staying with her even if I really wanted to leave her. I finally decided to give up my wrong doings for the sake of my family and to make things right and clean all my mess. But I guess I was too late. Now my wife is not ready to forgive me and seems she wanted to part ways away from me. I really wanted to save our marriage. Please I need advice on how to again convince her to give me another chance even for the last time.