How to Have a Successful Relationship with an Anxiously Attached Partner

Anxious attachment style is one of the four attachment styles which include secure, fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant styles. Read HERE to understand what an attachment style is.

A person with an axious attachment style need more connection than a secure person. Therefore, emotional distance and disconnection trigger them which make them anxious and unsafe in the relationship.

If you are married to one or in a relationship with one, below are some practical ways on how to take care of a relationship with a partner who has an anxious attachment style.

1. If they share about their endeavors, projects, and goals do listen and show interest. You can also ask some questions that will encourage them to tell more about their pursuits.

2. If they share a video, a meme, show interest by watching it, reacting to it and/or commenting about it.

3. If they love to do things for you (e.g. cook something, fix something, help you with something) do show appreciation and say thank you.

4. If they show signs of stress/distress say something like, “you seem stressed.” And if they elaborate, do you listen and emphatize with their feelings and experiences.

5. If they want to do an activity with you, carve sometime.

6. Giving them surprise physical affections will go a long way.

7. If you got hurt by them, tell them so. It’s all right to express anger, but if you can, avoid giving thr silent treatment, it will trigger them. If you need some time to blow off steam, just tell them.

8. If you need alone time or me time, tell them so. It would be better if they know how many hours you need.

9. If you have a project, will be busy with something, and you know you won’t be responsive and available, tell them beforehand so they can adjust.

10. Love yourself too. Do things that you love and will help you grow. Pursue your personal dreams and passion.