A married person may sometimes find themselves feeling an intense attraction or emotional fixation toward someone other than their spouse. It may feel like love, but it isn’t the kind of love rooted in commitment or sacrifice. It’s not agape either, which is the selfless love that gives without expecting in return. And it’s not […]
Marital Infidelity
4 A’s of Healing After Betrayal
Healing from infidelity is not a linear journey. It is a long, slow, and arduous process that unfolds layer by layer. First, you go through shock and survival, then through slow understanding, and then perhaps reconciliation. If you’re experiencing this, you’re not only struggling with deep emotional pain, but also feeling lost, confused, and clueless […]
Infidelity: To Forgive and Forget is a Harmful Advice
It is a cause of concern when clients tell me that they were previously advised to forgive and forget their partner’s betrayal. This advice is friendlier to the strayed spouse but constricting to the betrayed partner. The betrayed partner could feel unnecessary guilt because he/she couldn’t do what was being asked of her. Marie was […]
Infidelity Effect: Symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome
Once upon a time, you were living in the quiet of your own world and in the safety of your daily rhythm. Life was pretty normal, you’re normal, everything is normal. Things were in their proper places as you know it. Life for you isn’t perfect, but you’re coping well and you’re getting by. Until […]
How to cope with infidelity flashbacks
Experiencing flashbacks is one of the re-experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If you have experienced infidelity in your marriage, you probably find yourself struggling with this. In a flashback, you may feel or act as though the discovery day when you learned about your husband’s infidelity is happening again. One wife aptly described it this way: […]
The affair story : Do you need to know the details about it?
Discovering that your spouse had an affair can be shocking and traumatizing. At the onset of revelation, you’re probably beginning to question your beliefs about who you are, who your partner is, and the foundation of your marriage. This will be a one big emotional roller coaster ride for you where your thoughts and emotions […]
Emotionally dependent: Do you love your husband more than yourself?
In counseling, I’ve encountered a number of women who are unsure wether they love themselves or not. Loving oneself sounds foreign to them, like it was the first time they’ve heard of it. They are the ones who give their all in their relationship, leaving nothing for themselves. They are the only one doing all […]
Is My Marriage Worth Fighting For After He Cheated On Me?
Question: “My husband cheated on me, but I chose to stay in our marriage. But everyday, I still feel the pain. Oftentimes, I catch my myself crying when I remember what he has done to me. Is this marriage worth fighting for? Is it right that I stayed or should I move on alone?” This is […]
4 Reasons Why Men Cheat
When a husband cheated, one of the questions that a wife will ask is “WHY?” They want to understand and make sense how infidelity ever happened in their married life. The why question sometimes branches into something like “how could my husband, my best friend, do this to me?” “Do I have shortcomings in our […]
Listen to your Maternal and Wifely Instinct
As a new mom I didn’t know when my instinct was kicking in, I’m not even sure how should it feel. One time when I noticed my daughter who was slightly bending down with her hands on her knees — a pose which she does not usually do — I decided not to fuss over […]