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by Nova Cruz, M.A. Counseling Psychology

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The Pimple Mark Syndrome in Marriage

December 26, 2011 by Nova Cruz Leave a Comment

pimple_mark-syndrome-e1430128135265
It’s during our teen age years, that one morning when we look in front of the mirror and we see that dreaded pimple. And that one pimple was enough to make us go “bad trip” and conscious all throughout the day. We haven’t even noticed and appreciated all the other parts of our face.
The same goes to our marriages.
How many times did we find ourselves complaining on something about our partners? How much energy did we put on gravitating around our partner’s flaw and weakness? Did we ever try to notice the other commendable attributes of our husbands? Oh well, I’m guilty with this one too. Why is it that most wives are hard to be satisfied?
My hubby is a loving and protective hands-on father. He’s a loving, sweet and thoughtful husband too. And as a leader, he provides us with a comfortable life. And yet sometimes, I catch myself possessing this pimple syndrome when I tend to focus on my hubby’s flaw and weakness on something. Of course, he isn’t perfect and neither am I. It is just that, my anxiety about the future makes me demand for more. And when my demands are not met, I get disappointed and frustrated that I have forgotten his strengths.
So how to deal with your partner’s flaws and weaknesses?
Remind yourself of your partner’s good qualities and appreciate them.
–          I think that we should often do this. One marriage speaker said, “Your partner, no matter how imperfect he is, is God’s perfect gift for you.”
Try to fill his weakness if it is your strength.
–          As they say “opposite attracts,” we get attracted to someone whose strengths are our weaknesses. And during marriage, it’s this difference that creates friction among couples. So instead of whining over our partner’s flaw, let’s just help them about it.
Accept him for who he is the way he accepts you for who you are.
–          I noticed that most women find it difficult to accept the full package of their husbands. While most men on the other hand, are very accepting and forgiving of their wives’ shortcomings. Now that we know this, I hope that we make a progress on acceptance.
Make gratitude your lifestyle.
–          It’s completely natural for us to focus on our frustrations and disappointments, instead of on what we have to be grateful for. For a change, let’s try to do the old adage that says, “Count your blessings.”
Remember that you are not perfect either.
–          Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Oh, how often do we forget this?
These are the only things that I can think of, if you have suggestions do add yours =)
~ ~ ~
There you go. I know the tips are not easy but it’s worth doing to make our marriage harmonious.

More from my site

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  • General Tips To a Happy Marriage For Single and Married Women
  • 6 Common Experiences of Filipina Breadwinner Wives
  • Making Love: Spontaneous or Scheduled
  • “If I am upset, let me be upset.”

Filed Under: Marriage, Marriage Care Tagged With: art-of-marriage

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Hi I’m Nova

I’m  a wife to a loving husband and a mom to two wonderful children.
I began counseling and writing about marriage last 2012. I completed my masters degree in Counseling Psychology  from Ateneo de Manila University. I was also trained in Gottman’s Couples Therapy Method. 

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