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by Nova Cruz, M.A.

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When your man walks out on you

January 16, 2012 by Nova Cruz 4 Comments

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Quoted from Nicholas Sparks’ Dear John, below were the thoughts that were running through John’s mind after he walked out from a heated argument with Savannah:

“One thing was certain: Savannah had walked in the door ready for an argument. Her answers had come too quickly, and I realized that they seemed less spontaneous than rehearsed, as if her own anger had been simmering most of the day. She’d known exactly how I would be acting, and though I might have deserved her anger based on the way I’d acted last night, the fact that she hadn’t appeared to care about her own culpability or my feelings gnawed at me for most of the afternoon……


…….. Returning, I wondered whether the door would be locked, but the knob turned freely when I tried. The bedroom door was halfway closed, light spilled down the hallway, and I debated whether to approach or stay in the living room. I didn’t want to face her anger, but I took a deep breath and made my way down the short hallway.”

He didn’t want to face her anger. I wonder if this is also the reason why Melbert, for the first time, has walked out on me. I was so furious the minute he walked out of the door, unwilling to talk to me, or shall I say, to argue with me.

Instantly recalling about John’s walk out scene in the story, and seeking to understand my husband and men generally, my experience with this has made me delved on why men walk out or hang up the phone in order to avoid an argument. And here are some of the reasons that I found out:

1.  They know they can never say the right thing or “be right”. That is why they might as well give up.

2. They don’t want to say things they will regret later.

3.  Most men are raised not to show their emotions or not to let them get in the way.

4.  Sometimes they just don’t want to get into a petty fights, because women are good in making a big deal out of nothing.

5. They get flustered and pressured.

All theses reasons only conclude that men are really not good in arguments. So to my fellow ladies, if this should happen to you, analyze your situation first. If your reason for fighting is something petty, then freely drop the issue. However, if that one is important enough that you can’t skip it, then try to calm down and compose yourself first. Once you think the fury is already gone and you can talk gently and calmly to your partner, then initiate the talking in a loving way. That way, you will be able to resolve an important issue through an open communication.

Have a happy marriage! =)

More from my site

  • How to Deal with Unsolvable Marital Problems
  • General Tips To a Happy Marriage For Single and Married Women
  • 6 Common Experiences of Filipina Breadwinner Wives
  • Making Love: Spontaneous or Scheduled
  • “If I am upset, let me be upset.”
  • On Being Boyfriend-Girlfriend Forever

Filed Under: Marriage, Marriage Care Tagged With: art-of-marriage

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Elizabeth Aquino says

    January 17, 2012 at 1:54 am

    nice point you have there sis…Mom Blog and

    Super Social WAHM

    Reply
  2. gie says

    January 18, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    hmm.. me and the hubby, we stay away from each other when there’s something going on. we usually give each other some space to think things over and most of the time, nagwwork naman this method. plus the fact na we don’t want the kids to see na nag-aaway kami but when we were younger (no kids).. aba, different story yun. lol 🙂

    Reply
  3. Gladys | WanderingTandem.com says

    January 19, 2012 at 4:35 am

    very well said 🙂

    Reply
  4. kay says

    January 26, 2012 at 12:49 am

    Hay …. I get those e … I just really didn’t have the right guy with me … oh well … sana if there will be a next one (though it is doubtful as I am now 31 and almost 2 years single again) I will remember this.

    Reply

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Hi I’m Nova

I’m  a wife to a loving husband and a mom to two lovely children.
I began counseling and writing about marriage last 2012. I completed my masters degree in Counseling Psychology  from Ateneo de Manila University. I was also trained in Gottman’s Couples Therapy Method. 
At present, I am only offering offline chat consultation/counseling on donation basis.
If you need to consult with me, feel free to message me on my FB page.

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